Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
