he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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