I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
