So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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