awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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