If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
