ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
