News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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