we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i wish my penis had a tongue
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
