Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
