now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
