Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
