I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
