hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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