Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
