I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
