we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
