We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
