Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
