I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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