she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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