At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
