Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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