Don't you send me to vm
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dicks are not precious.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
