he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
