I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
