my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
