I'm really into asian looking animals
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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