He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
