Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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