I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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