I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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