Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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