waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I need a beard to bite.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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