Having a random hookup so left but love u
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
