Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
