come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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