I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Of course I have a pirate flag
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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