So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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