So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
