My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
