please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
