I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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