Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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