I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i now understand why vodka
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
