I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
