You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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