you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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