Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
