what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Less talking, more tequila
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize