Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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