I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
