It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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