They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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