I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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