oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm too high and old for this...
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