Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize