dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
