my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
