The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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