jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
