I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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