We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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