He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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